Goodbye, Paul
by mollipop633
Summary: Paul's death was beautifully done in the show, and yet part of me wishes that he and Sarah would've had time for one last conversation, to really unpack the feelings they've been holding in. So here's my take on Paul's death - please suspend your disbelief in two areas: 1. That Paul lives long enough to have a leisurely chat with Sarah and 2. That Sarah is suddenly sentimental.


Sarah watched Paul wide-eyed from the other side of the grating. "No, Paul, Paul!" She leaned forward, pressing her face into the rough metal. "Paul!"

He turned around then, one arm draped over his bloody wounds, the other hanging loose at his side. Tears were coursing down his cheeks, but his blue eyes sparkled and a quiet smile graced his lips. His face was bright and so full of love that it took Sarah's breath away. He was so transparent right then that when he said "It was never Beth I loved" it seemed almost unnecessary.

And yet, it succeeded in dampening Sarah's previously dry eyes.

Not even waiting for those words to sink in, Paul gave her one last smile before turning around and staggering away. "No, wait!" Sarah yelled. "Shit Paul, come back, please." If she had to say goodbye, she was going to do it properly.

Once Paul realized that if that hell-raising Sarah Manning kept hollering like that someone would find him and finish the job, he chuckled and reluctantly turned back around. Sarah beckoned him forward, and still chuckling, Paul hobbled back towards the exit, where he slowly lowered himself onto the floor.

Now they were on the same level, and so close to touching that Sarah had goose bumps. She stared deep into Paul's face for a moment, marveling at how his face mirrored hers right now – eyes wet, hair mussed, cheekbones cut and bruised. Sarah was most certainly used to looking at others and seeing herself reflected back. But with Paul it was different. There was something fundamentally the same about them; they were dangerous people who lived by their wits, who were always evading death and destruction, who rarely found moments where they actually felt at home.

Right now, sitting face-to-face with Paul with only the grating separating them, was one of those moments.

"I can't stay Sarah," Paul whispered sadly.

"Shhh," Sarah said, reaching a trembling finger through an opening in the grating to lightly touch his cheek.

"Sarah," he murmured, kissing her finger tenderly. God, he made her name sound like a great mystical secret, like the cure for cancer, like the miracle of all miracles. "I have to go."

She shook her head, trailing her finger down to the stab wounds. "I wish I could help you," she said.

"It's alright," Paul said, smiling as he reached his fingers through the grating to brush the tears from her cheeks. "I always figured it would come to this. Sarah, my duty has been to protect you, and you are not an easy person to protect."

She grinned in spite of herself. "Sorry," she breathed.

He laughed. "Don't be. If I had to die for any person in the world, trust me, it would be you."

"No, don't… don't say that," she said. "God, Paul, I don't know how I'll live without you."

His face grew serious. "You'll find a way. You always do." He sighed. "And think of all the trouble I've caused you. I haven't been the most… trustworthy. Or loyal."

"Neither have I," Sarah said pointedly.

He couldn't help but laugh at that. "Maybe not. But whenever I needed you, you were there for me. Even when I told you not to."

She brushed the hair out of his eyes. "That's only because I constantly felt the need to disobey you."

He smiled genuinely. "And I'm so glad you did. One of the reasons I fell in love with you so helplessly."

"Monitors falling for their subjects seems to be a common theme," Sarah commented.

"You were never just a subject to me."

She softened. "I know."

It was silent between them for a moment before Paul broke it. "I have to go now, Sarah." When he saw the despair cross her face he stroked her cheek. "Believe me, I wish I didn't. But I have a final order of business. If I'm going down, I'm taking those bastards with me."

She nodded. "Always a hero, Paul."

"I've tried to be."

"You've succeeded."

They were silent once more before Paul struggled to stand up. "Wait," Sarah said, gripping his shirtsleeve. He sat back down obediently.

"You said it was never Beth you loved."

"And I meant it."

"Well, I've never loved anyone like I love you. I doubt I ever will."

His eyes danced. "Thank you, Sarah. I needed that."

"I meant it." She paused, cleared her dry throat. "We haven't had the best of luck."

"No," Paul agreed. "But we've had one hell of a ride."

"And it's not over yet," Sarah replied softly, the desperation creeping back into her tone.

"No," he agreed, before leaning in to kiss her through the grating. Their lips mingled with the metal but it had little effect on the sweetness. In fact, Sarah thought it summed them up rather well – rough around the edges but with a certain beauty that required someone else to show it to them.

Paul broke the kiss slowly and stood up. "Goodbye, Sarah," he whispered, blessing her with one final smile before he limped away.

"Goodbye, Paul."


End file.
